knowing when to call security (and when not to)
Nineth in a series of posts elaborating on my list of skills to use when dealing with difficult personalities.
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I’m a small peace-loving woman, but some people make me so angry I could reach over the desk and strangle them. I’ve never actually gotten into a fistfight with a coworker, but there have been times I felt like it was the only solution. The important word there is felt. I’m an emotional person, and I know I’m not the only one in the workforce. Managing emotions can be a critical part of dealing with difficult people.
For reasons I won’t go into here, one of the companies I’ve worked for had a really serious security department. These weren’t rent-a-cops in tacky uniforms swaggering around with big egos. The head of security was previously high-up in the FBI and eye witnesses spotted a gun in his desk drawer. I loved these guys, but they were serious business. Nobody picked up the phone to call security just because a couple of co-workers were yelling at each other.
And this is a good rule of thumb. Workplace arguments just don’t need to escalate into assault charges. In fact, there’s no point in even raising your voice to a coworker. Nobody changes their mind about anything when the screaming starts.
So in the interest of ultimately winning the day - go take a walk. When your blood boils and you want to put the hurt on someone, go get some fresh air and exercise instead. Make good use of your law-mandated 10-minute break. And of course, remember lessons I talked about earlier. Don’t write that email when you feel like pounding someone. Don’t even pick up the phone or walk over to their desk. Instead, get a little distance from the situation. Remember the big picture, and don’t let the trolls take your health as well as your peace of mind. Stress and anger really can make you sick.
On the other hand, there are good reasons why big companies keep a Head of Security on the payroll. If something makes you honestly concerned for your safety, give them a call. I’ve been in an office that went on lockdown just in case an angry ex-employee came back to take the revenge they threatened. I’ve picked up the phone myself to report a bomb threat. Two, in fact. And the scary bouncer-types were a comfort when the threatening phone calls started.
Most people have no idea how exciting customer service can be.
Real life example where knowing the boundaries saved my sanity
It was just one of those weeks, you know? My boss had gone inexplicably insane with the paperwork, the client decided they wanted three impossible things done yesterday, and every third email was getting stuck in the ether.
Among the many other duties piling up on my desk, I had been given responsibility for moderating a company-sponsored message board for a particular product. When they first asked for the message board I told them it was a bad idea. The nature of the product invited bad behavior in that kind of forum, and since it was prominently sponsored by the company, they didn’t want anything displayed in such a way that it would reflect poorly on the business as a whole. But let them talk about anything they want. Right.
So one morning in this context I opened up the message board to check through the posts coming in over night. What greeted me was a raft of hardcore pornographic photos spammed liberally throughout the forum. And I don’t mean your average nekid lady in a suggestive pose. Some of them involved kids.
At that moment, the pressure cooker of my job just became too much. I put my head down on my desk and cried for a few minutes. I knew this had to be reported to my superiors. The images had been up for almost 8 hours. I also knew someone had to go through every post and every thread on the forum looking for these images and hand-deleting them one at a time without destroying the legitimate messages of the community we were working to build there. In addition, the situation had to be investigated. Did the content of the images constitute something that needed to be reported to police? How could we keep this from happening again?
And I knew I couldn’t do it. I was at my breaking point. The general stress in my life combined with how angry these photos made me was just too much.
I told my boss so. I knew it was my job - and only my job - to take care of this message board, and nobody else had any more free time than I did. But it was refuse this particular task or have a nervous breakdown. They weren’t paying me enough to have the nervous breakdown.
I explained the situation to my boss, then went out for a long walk and an icecream cone. A coworker went through and did the message board maintenance. Nobody got fired, hit, or had a nervous breakdown.
Know where your limits are and don’t compromise on them. But also don’t blow things out of proportion.