Dealing With Difficult People (in business and beyond?)
Video game development is a fairly male-dominated industry right now. I belong to a mailing list of female game developers, and one conversation there prompted me to write down my personal list of things I’ve learned over my career about how to work succesffully with difficult personalities.
A few people there encouraged me to elaborate on my bullet points, so I thought I’d share the list here - and the long explanations.
I should note that none of these items are particularly revolutionary. Neither are they original to me. I’ve had some excellent role models, mentors and supervisors over the years. Special thanks to Elise Lanoue, who knew how to explain things.
I’ve been lucky. I think all my bosses over the years have ranged from pretty good to really great. However, I’ve worked on some large projects where many people had varying degrees of control. Some of them had some difficult personalities.
My personal list of skills to use when dealing with difficult personalities:
* managing expectations in general
* managing “up”
* managing “down”
* managing “across”
* who you must truly please and who you can just smile and nod at
* establishing accountability (not the same as placing blame)
* what to get (and keep) in writing
* what to never put in writing (this includes email)
* when to call security (and when not to)
* how to make effective end-runs
* when to play along
* when to panic (and when not to)
* who you can rant to (and who you can’t)
* what the local currency is (not what you might think)
* who you can trust
* what your limits are
* how to do a personal cost/benefit analysis